DRACULAS

DRACULAS - Blake Crouch,  Jack Kilborn,  Jeff Strand,  F. Paul Wilson It's true, four authors seamlessly collaborate on a horror story. I could guess who wrote what, but it wasn't obvious. At first glance, this book should have everything I love and that's why I bought it. However, it really wasn't my taste at all. It's so disappointing when that happens. BUT, it might be up someone else's alley. The book starts out with a disclaimer, which I thought clever. I'm a fan of horror and not easily scared. I say bring it on, I dare you to frighten me! Sadly, Draculas was more gore than horror. The first half of the story is page after page of blood, brains and slaughter. I felt like I was stuck in a bad B horror movie. Perhaps, because this reads like a screenplay rather than a book. It begins with a cast of characters, most of which are disposable and are only introduced (cameo) to add to the carnage later. Of course, I really don't care if they get ripped to shreds. In fact, I know they are going to die. The amount of gore has the similar effect as Tarantino's "Natural Born Killers." It's desensitizing and becomes almost funny instead of scary. More brains, blood and well, blood. The character development is cardboard. Insert: Bruce Willis from Die hard (one-liners included), David Arquette from Eight-Legged Freaks, John Goodman, any stereotypical dumb hick cop (I choose the Dukes of Hazard cast) and Mr. Burns from The Simpsons and you have the players in Draculas. In between the flying blood and guts there is a weak attempt at plot. Regret, attraction, love and redemption? Not really. Emotionally, I could have cared less because the 'thinking' was scribed, predictable and stereotypical. I realize these writers have a cult following who enjoy the stories. Their style just didn't appeal to me. If you like slaughter house horror flicks, then you'll be a fan. Comic relief is strung between the body parts and one-liner references are abundant. It even comes with a scary clown. Yes, I think Hollywood would buy this in a minute.